Quarantine has brought out ample opportunity for me to catch up on new and old TV shows, like Charmed (new and original), Restaurant Impossible, and yes, The Millionaire Matchmaker. This was a Bravo original series where they followed Patti Stanger and her business around while making love matches for millionaires around the world! I used to enjoy watching it when it aired on TV but quickly forgot when the newest and greatest next thing came on later. I randomly saw Bravo playing an episode a few weeks ago and discovered the entire series on my Sling account and now I am hooked, again.
Considering I am 100% single and ready to mingle, my brain has started to collect some notes off of Patti (who is supposed to have a really high success rate in matchmaking). If it works for her clients why shouldn’t it work for me?
No Sex Before Monogamy – This has to be her NUMBER ONE rule within her club (or at least it seems that way in the show). She is famous for telling clients and dates “no in, in, or in” meaning no vaginal or anal intercourse and no blow jobs! Her reasoning behind it is that from a female perspective once (most of us) have sex we equate those feeling with attachment and love, while (most) men if they get sex on the first date (or early on) quickly lose interest because they already got that instant gratification. It is kind of an old school rule but it’s one that has been passed around for a reason I’ve found. I’ve played both sides and I’ve known women who have been on both sides of this ‘rule’ so I think it really depends on the person (or at least the woman!) but I like it. For me, it makes sense and every person on the show that broke this rule NEVER ended up with a second date.
You Have to Dress for Success – And by this statement I mean show off the PROPER goods! Patti is brutally honest in the show with everyone on their appearance. If you need your teeth fixed (shark teeth, horse teeth), she tells you. If you would look better as a dark brunette, she’ll ask if you can dye your hair ASAP! If you wear an ugly outfit, she tells you to burn it. To attract a partner you need to wear cocktail attire, like a hot dress that shows some skin, but not all the skin (like cleavage but not nipple) and she fully believes women should show off their legs. Men should be groomed (but not overly groomed!) If you think about it this totally makes sense. You want to play up your best assets and look like you own a hairbrush, basically, without being too superficial but come on, your appearance is the first thing people see about you. Explains some things…
The Rule of 10 – This pertains to age. Patti believes, most, people have a dating range of 10 years older than themselves and 10 years younger. Personally, I have always held the belief that I wouldn’t date anyone more than 10 years older than myself just because I’m not sure how we could be at a similar point in our lives. Now when it comes to dating younger, it has never seriously appealed to me and when I’ve tried it the guys never work out. My ex was 2 years younger and he’s my ex for a reason; even though he was an adult he could be very immature outside of a work scenario and even loved to point out that he didn’t get to be a ‘college kid’ and such because he chose to jump into the workforce after high school. For me I carry the belief that (most) men don’t mature as quickly as women (from experience) and since I have a very mature attitude, dating someone who is 21 (but acts like a 16-year-old) has zero appeal. In the same context dating, someone who is 41 (but acts 35) sounds perfect!
Men Plan The Date! – I love this concept, especially for a first date the man should always plan it. Tell me where to meet you, send a car or pick me up and surprise me with something amazing. It is the man’s responsibility to court us, so you better be a man with a plan.
For a First Date, No Nudity – That means no spas, no beaches, no pools, or anything that would get the girl into a bikini. Patti believes that men who do this are trying to check out the goods. While I have seen several occasions on the show where this rule was broken, and Patti didn’t mind, it seems like a decent enough rule. Most of the women on these dates mentioned how awkward it is that they had to strip down (to a point) in front of someone they are still essentially getting to know.
Men Need To Be The Tiger – They want to hunt the female and women enjoy being hunted. This can be a generalization I’m sure because a lot of women carry very masculine energy and want to be in control; it’s just that Patti finds this scares men and makes them feel weak and intimidated. Personally, I agree with this though because I want a ‘manly’ man who also can share his softer side, but starting out I want to KNOW that a man is attracted to me and wants to date me; don’t be quiet and shy and passive. I am very independent and dominate in the majority of my life, I don’t want to feel that way with romance.
The Higher The Heel, The Closer to God – I honesty just chuckled at myself for the title of this one! But Patti always advises the girls to wear high, typically strappy, heels for her mixers when they meet the millionaires. I personally love shoes but my feet don’t love shoes so heels have always been a sore point for me 😦 but maybe I’ll just break my feet someday to make heels easier to wear. Certainly, it doesn’t help that I’m 5’8 and already feel too tall.
Religion Can Be a Deal Breaker– This is always one of Patti’s first questions when she interviews a client to be sure if it is important or not. I have followed this rule while dating just because religion ISN’T important to me, but I know it can be for others. I am spiritual/pagan so knowing that people can judge (a lot) on this I try to steer clear of someone who states they are hella Christian (for instance) because I don’t want the headache and to waste their time. I was lucky with my ex because he didn’t seem to care and was kind of interested in my views so he would ask a lot of questions. I’m cool talking, don’t care what religion my partner just respects the men who know it is important to them.
She is Size-ist – I really hate pointing this out but it is glaringly apparent while watching the show that Patti does not believe people are attracted to overweight humans. I, unfortunately, tend to agree that my size makes it more difficult (I may be brainwashed though thanks to the media) but this does not make it right. I don’t think Patti actually cares if someone is plus size or not but she certainly feels they don’t deserve love. I’m plus size, and being so in today’s world is super hard because the media only shows stick-thin models or porn stars who have this tiny waist with huge tits. I don’t fit either right now and it’s gotten into my head that no man will ever find me sexy. I also know this is incorrect since I have certainly been on enough dates and had relations with men. But I do feel that it is a lot harder for the plus-size community to find love.
Straight Hair (almost) Always – Every single recruiting scene you see Patti and the other matchmakers telling women with curly hair that they can attend the mixer but they MUST straighten their hair (preferably professionally). She went off on a girl who attempted to straighten her own hair and showed up with frizz city. She believes most men are attracted to straight hair and the fact that they can run their fingers through straight hair. The last part makes sense because curly hair is notoriously dry and tangly and the second you touch it all hell breaks loose. I have wavy hair (in the middle of curly and straight – thanks mom) and it’s also frizz city. I have contemplated having it permanently straighten numerous times just because I love the way it looks – perhaps this is a reason to do so. Any men willing to give their opinions?
I’m kind of curious now once I start dating again (post-quarantine dating, how is this going to work? lol) how many of these I might follow. I certainly want to try at least a few! What else do I have to lose? And also, Patti, if you are taking in pro bono/poor clients, please hook your girl up!